Story Development Part Three

My goal from last week was to outline the past and present action sequences using Jay Kristoff’s Nevernight chapter one as a framework. I managed to work on the first two out of four sections in the present day before my brain wanted to focus on writing that first section. I spent most of my time working it out in my head. I came up with small sentences or phrases that I wanted to use and wrote them down. I took what I had come up with so far and attempted to write the first two hundred words.

This is what I came up with after a week of thinking.

He was no longer a man.

Dark magic can do that, you know.

It corrupts the soul until there is only a shell of once was.

This beast before her was no different. A fallen elf who needed to be put down-just like that god during the third and final dark war. Retractable claws that could slice through rock dug into the ground, leaving gashes longer than her hand as it prowled along the edge of the forest. Its muscles rippled with menace each time it moved closer to the deer. Hunched over on all four, the beast sprang, jaw clamping down over the deer’s head, and thrashed back and forth until the corpse fell to the ground. Blood pooled around the deer, mirroring the blood moon high in the sky.

To her surprise, it pushed off the ground and roared into the night sky. Pain or anger, she could not tell. The wind shifted, flooding her nose with the taste of blood, sweat and a magical residue only an elf could detect.

Her Husband stood nearby, determination evident by his ever vigilant gaze.

“Are you sure?”, he asked.

She grasped his hand and their eyes met.

“I’ve got this.”

What was he before? Why did he change? What is dark magic? How does the soul play a part in the story? Are all beasts fallen elf’s because of the dark magic? How does she know all these details if she is far enough away to be left alone by the beast? What significance does the blood moon have? What is magical residue? Who is her husband? What does she say, “I’ve got this?”? Does this mean she is going to fight it on her own?

These are the questions I am asking myself as a potential reader going through this rough first attempt.

I managed to include sight, sound, taste, and smell but not touch. That will need to wait for the fight itself. My goal for next week is to continue working on the first chapter and in doing so, help myself define the voice, tone and type of narrator I am crafting.